Getting a Life

Not much today. Hope you enjoy it:

Do you often find yourself thinking about the next big programming language? Having nightmares about NullPointerExceptions? or understand why some people use kek and lol interchangably?
If so, you should try Getting a Life(tm). Getting a Life(tm) isn't right for everyone. If you are pregnant, nursing, may become pregnant, or are fat male that passersby often confuse for a heavyset woman, Getting a Life(tm) may not be right for you.

Please consult your physician before you try Getting a Life(tm) as side effects may include: not hating yourself, enjoying the company of others, and being called a noob when you finally return to your favorite online game.

Time to work on getting some people to help promote project Samblitz! Good night Internet.

Dump 'Em Out (Studios)

So I haven't been posting lately, and this is why: Dump 'Em Out Studios is now official. We're putting together a team and writing an XBox360 game. I'll post a link to the facebook fan page where we'll be putting updates later. Anyway, there were some good ones today:

Smokol: which is worse, the hot girl speaking russian so people couldn't eavesdrop on her conversation or that i was able to hear and understand enough to tell she was arguing with her mother about her boyfriend?
Warblitz: tsk tsk tsk
Warblitz: "Minya zaboot Smokol"

Phil: So as it turns out, trying to simplify things for your Mac owning graphic designer userbase...does not help people who actually read documentation.

Phil: The baby Jesus is simultaneously laughing, crying, and crapping his Huggies in fear.

Phil: funcIDCombo.selectedIndex = i as Number;
Phil: funcIDCombo.selectedIndex == 0
Phil: I have redefined 3!
Smokol: wait
Smokol: that returned true?
Smokol: what type is i?
Phil: String
Smokol: and "3" as Number == 0?
Smokol: weird
Smokol: unless for some Garth-aweful reason it does it like this (funcIDCombo.selectedIndex = i) as Number

Phil: My faith is officially lost.
Smokol: in?
Phil: Flash
Smokol: you had some to begin with?
Phil: I had to think that maybe it wouldn't completely fail at everything.
Phil: It is complaining about a "possibly undefined method"
Phil: Being called on an object of type ArrayCollection. Examining the inheritance tree you can see that ArrayCollection inherits from ListCollectionView, which inherits from Proxy, which inherits from Object.
Smokol: didn't we go through this last week?
Smokol: am i stuck in a movie?
Phil: The addAll() method is defined in ListCollectionView
Phil: So is the addItem() method.
Phil: I can call addItem(), but not addAll()
Smokol: wow
Phil: It was similar to last week's problem, but a whole new sort of fail.
Smokol: ahh
Phil: HOWEVER! It's even better. if I do (target as Object).addAll(), it works. 'as' is ActionScript's cast mechanism. An expression (target as Object) returns either target as an Object or null.


-Reasons to not argue with an iPhag (i know it's a bit long but I was too lazy to weed out the gems)
iPhag: then i got an ipad
iPhag: then i got a life
Smokol: wait
Smokol: what?
iPhag: so many things have been happening
Smokol: you did not get a maxIpad
iPhag: oh i did
Smokol: w
Smokol: t
Smokol: f
iPhag: my flow's the heaviest
Smokol: i really hope you're kidding
iPhag: okay keep hoping
Smokol: my soul has been crushed
Smokol: you tell koblentz yet?
Smokol: he'll be pretty excited to play with it
iPhag: with every fanboy there is an anti fanboy
Smokol: aye, i am the ultimate fanboy. i hate almost everything
Smokol: and even the things i llike i don't consider myself a fan
iPhag: i could care less about apple
Smokol: pfft
Smokol: lies
Smokol: you went and got a giant apple branded paperweight
iPhag: i refuse to pay over 1000 for any apple product
iPhag: and would never buy a desktop or mac book
iPhag: lol @ paperweight
iPhag: more like internetz in my hands
Smokol: i'd totally buy a macbook if i had money to burn
iPhag: your just mad im going to be browsing the interwebs in style on the toilet
Smokol: so why not just get a ipod touch?
Smokol: the ipad is just a big iTouch
iPhag: because I own an ipod touch
iPhag: and doing anything more than listening to music on it is a pain
Smokol: i browse the web in style on the toilet. 24" touch screen wall mounted
Smokol: what now
iPhag: lol
iPhag: i'd like to see that
iPhag: pictures please
Smokol: uhhh
Smokol: no
Smokol: freak
iPhag: although i wouldn't be surprised
iPhag: if you something a little more modest
iPhag: like a 17 inch montior
Smokol: pfft
Smokol: that's for the cheap and the weak
Smokol: you forget, i'm single with no friends and no life
iPhag: ipad is pretty cool, i was a little worried at first
iPhag: have you gotten a chance to play with one?
Smokol: i think ipad is a pretty cool guy
Smokol: eh only runs 1 app and doesn't afraid of anything
iPhag: reserve judgement till you do
iPhag: itz teh futurez
Smokol: i don't need to play with it. the specs just shout waste of money
Smokol: no usb
Smokol: no concurrent apps
Smokol: need i say more?
iPhag: OMGZ NO STYLUS
iPhag: how R MY FAT OIL FINGERZ GONAN BROWSE
Smokol: really? it doesn't ship with a stylus?
iPhag: NOZ VOICE REGOZNITIONZ
Smokol: well that's annoying but not terrible
Smokol: meh, voice recognition would be impressive
iPhag: HOW ELSE R I GONAN RITE EPIC NOVELZ

Ahh good times. Anyway, it's time for me to depart and get some work done on this game. Track us down at Game Underground on June 27. Good night Internet.

You can't win

Ok so not much today, but what little there is I believe to be pretty good. Enjoy:

Phil: My project manager: "Why did we choose to use Hibernate? ... ... ... Fuck."
-just wow

Me: i offer you proof you can't win in life

Person subject = BabyFactory.newChild();
while(subject.isAlive())
try{
switch(subject.maturity){
case KID:
subject.school.start;
while(!subject.school.isDone())
subject.wait();
subject.work().start;
break;
case ADOLESCENT:
subject.highSchool.start();
while(!subject.highSchool.isDone())
subject.wait();
break;
case YOUNG_ADULT:
subject.college.start();
while(!subject.college.isDone())
subject.wait();
break;
case ADULT:
while(!subject.work.isDone())
subject.wait();
break;
case OLD:
subject.retire.start();
break;
default:
subject.die();
break;
}
subject.mature();

}catch(YourMotherNeverLovedYouException e){
logger.error("give up");
}catch(YoureAConstantDisappointmentToYourMotherAndIException e){
logger.error("why won't you give up?");
}catch(CripplingDepressionException e){
logger.severe("hang yourself");
}catch(SoulCrushingDefeatException e){
logger.fatal("you lose");
}catch(WinningLotteryException e){
subject.addHabit(Habits.COKE);
}
}

Phil: Inspirational. You catch all those exceptions then continue on with life.

Phil: Perfect
Phil: Plus now you've left room for not acting one's age if maturity gets misset.


All that being said, /wrists

Time for my new favorite drinking game: "Clean the apartment"...yes it's exactly as fun as it sounds. Good night Internet.

I have failed you Internet

Sorry I haven't been posting lately. Things have gotten a little busy for me. I welcome insanity from any of my peers to help keep this blog alive. For now, I give you today's tibits:

Upon waking up an hour early this morning, rather than roll over and go back to sleep. i awoke, and giggled like a schoolgirl as i did the long overdue linux partition on my desktop

Walt: question for you, if you can spear a second
Me: sure i can spear a second...if you can find a physical embodiment of one

Me: ok blackberry...NO
Me: BAD
Me: you know how it will autocorrect based on fatfingers?...it just changed "fid" to "god"
Phil: BAD DOGGY NO BISCUIT!

Davey: I got an org.omg.CORBA.COMM_FAILURE exception
-well done sir

I will try to be more active in posting the insanity generated by software developers. Good night Internet.

Re: Greet your corporate overlords.

This excerpt was from a conversation the day I was complaining heavily about Java. But really, is scanf() too much to ask for? You wrote printf() already!

Anyway:

Smokol: people have a tendency to lose flash drives/cds
so it makes some sense to me
but they should make it easier to get encrypted ones
Me: The making-things-easier committee meeting has been canceled due to scheduling conflicts. A board approved scheduling task force will be assembled and immediately put on developing an implementing a set of policies and a procedure for better scheduling the meetings of the making-things-easier committee. The task force is expected to present its paper to the executive board following approval by the making-things-easier committee.

Faith has been restored

We have waited for word from our Lord Garth for sometime and he has returned. Resurfaced and has graced us with his wisdom. Stand faithful with me brethren and expect some great things from Him. Also, I plan a special treat for St. Patrick's Day. I plan on producing some very interesting code for you and perhaps it will actually do something. Sorry there isn't much, but enjoy:

"Shut Up and Code" the new hit single from Ryanna Milk

Nicolai: i am not disappoint
-thanks bud

Tell me exactly what I am supposed to do
Now that I have allowed garbage collection
...
If you even try to load that java bean
I think I might have to kill -9

it's 2:15 on Monday. do you know where your productivity is?

For now, I must acquire nutrition in some form and take part in the glory of Monday night primetime. In the meantime we pray for the return of Garth and hope the new group will honor His word. Good night Internet.

Nuclear launch detected

Sorry I haven't been posting. I have thoroughly lost my mind due to the lack of internets for so long. Here are some from yesterday:

Nicolai: i might have just accidently the whole clearcase

Phil: Oh Christ is there something Java doesn't suck at?
Me: ?
Me: owning php
Me: that's about all i can think of
Phil:
Me: Hey, PHP... 600000 is a number. Remember that.
PHP: OK.
Me: Hey, PHP. What was that number?
PHP: 600000
Me: Hey, Java. 600000 is a number. Remember that.
Java: Yarp.
Me: Hey, Java. What was that number?
Java: 600,000!
Phil: Hey, Java. You realize you just took a shit all over my expensive comma-delimited file?
--Well played sir but stop hating on Java, Garth will not be pleased.

Phil: Everytime I try to do something beside "Hello World" in Java it's a horrifying battle. This fucking language is more incompetent and stubborn than my mother.
Phil: Haha, tricked it.
--OH NOES!!!!

Time for me to head back into insanity-land. I believe I've managed to come up with a data structure capable of mapping x-dimensional relationships. Whilst iterating a relationship executes in O(n) time, building the structure takes O(x*(n^2))...The beauty of it is that it is very simple to acquire sets such as the union or intersection between two relationships. Good night Internet.

Spice must flow

Matt is internet deprived, I also felt this was funny from a few days ago and deserved public light. Incidentally I hate JDBC. Strongly typed languages with overly aggressive type checking and no implicit casting intelligence have no business connecting to a database.

Phil:

java.sql.SQLException: 
          Your database is mad at you: 
          No, it won't tell you what you've done
     java.sql.Statement: You should know by now (Unknown)

Smokol: INSERT INTO apology (reason) VALUES (?)

Ghosts in the code...

Slow day again. Sorry I haven't been giving you any gems. Seems the will to live is slowly waning...enjoy them:

don't do work
-------------
work leads to productivity
productivity leads to promotion
promotion leads to jealousy
jealousy leads to fear
fear leads to anger
anger leads to the dark side

Time for me to get some quality time in on the weekend. Good night Internet.

Ravings of a Mad Programmer

Slow day yesterday. I apologize for not posting. Enjoy:
Yet again I have been told that my exploits should be turned into a book. So here are some title ideas I've had:

public final class Smokol
x++
Unhandled exception type CrazyBitchException
assert(false)
Thread.dumpStack()

For now I suppose I should get something done. Good night Internet.

bored Smokol needs beer badly!

Ahh another lovely day. Brilliant rantings. Good problems solved. All in all, not bad. Enjoy them:

I somehow created an infinite chain of file output streams and it ran for several GIGS before I realized. -Well done Phil

No, PGP provider. A 31.5KB file cannot be encrypted into a 76 character string. You are simply wrong. -Another good'un from comrade Phil

"Maven has made compiling Java projects almost an effortless job. You no longer need to worry about placing all the required class files in your classpath."
BULL
SHIT

Phil: Is there a software engineering union we can get to rally for a "Denim is good for the soul" day?
Me: doubt it. Although i did hear of a "Chili Stains are a Sign of Wisdom" rally
Phil: If that means I can use some chili stained jeans as a vehicle to showcase my wisdom, I'm down for that. I'll need to stain some jeans but there is a slowcooker in my apartment, chili is not that far away.
Me: for ultimate wisdom toss the jeans in with the chili
Phil: Good knowledge that is allowed to soak in and REALLY simmer, will eventually become wisdom.

WTF AAPL
Good find Phil

"The website you are attempting to contact has not been able to respond because an ad for Pizza Hut is playing to the server room. They are hungry so no one has clicked the Next button yet." - INDEED sir, in deed

403: Forbidden. Please acknowledge the iPod Ad by spinning the clickwheel

Delangey: well i just don't think we ever get together and not have a big ol night
Me: well played
Me: we are quite the self annhialating trio of destruction
Delangey: lol yep
Me: something tells me you would round up all the dogs in my building and just dump the nog on the floor. then you would kneel down and lap it up with all the dogs
Me: have yourself a grand old dog nog party
Delangey: i mean yeah that sound just perfect to me

Time for leave. Bioshock 2 awaits. Big night. Lots and lots of little sisters to save. Good night internet.

Great day at work. Gotta love those problems you beat your head into and eventually give up on. It gives us something to strive for. Great Bioshock session as well. Working towards getting good at it once again. Enjoy them:

Me: you know what i hate?
Me: Maven
Me: with a fucking passion
Me: i want it to burn
Phil: The java dependency/build system?
Me: maven 1.0 stuff is completely incompatible with 2
Phil: It's an apache project...you'd expect anything less?
Me: so i spent all this time trying to get something to build with 2
Me: then figured "oh lets try 1"
Me: bam works well enough to fail building
Me: now i'm getting some random ass jelly error
Phil: ass jelly just nearly made me spit-take my tea.

Moops: Thank god it's a 3 day weekend
Me: thank Garth you mean good sir
Moops: Um, I don't acknowledge that there is a Garth.
Me: whoa
Me: whoa
Moops: It's controversial, I know.
Moops: But I can't help what I believe!
Me: Leap 3:12 - "...for all write bugs and fall short of the glory of Garth"

Phil: If you lay a curse upon a java class' family, does that curse apply only to the package or does it go back up the package nesting order?
Phil: I want to make sure I don't damn the entire org.* namespace.
Me: sadly sir it has nothing to do with the packages
Me: only those it inherits from and those who inherit from it directly
Phil: Ah, so if I were to place a pox upon its village THEN I would affect the package?
Me: aye sir
Phil: That's good to have figured out
Me: you're not cursing something that inherits from object directly are you?
Phil: I suppose technically yes, since it's implementing an interface. No explicit inheritence
Phil: Ok, I declare vengeance upon java.sql
Me: oh nooo

4:04 - Can't find the time... - Thanks Phil

Phil: I really wish I could use PHP or Python for database access in Java.
Phil: JDBC makes me feel like I'm trying to unlock a door with a sea bass.
Me: well aren't you?
Me: i think your problem is that you aren't using a herring
Phil: Clearly I need carp.
----Well played sir

Time for the Dr. and perhaps some other stuff. Good night Internet.

Big Sister is mean

Some good stuuf yesterday. Yet again I was preoccupied with a game and forgot to post. Bioshock 2 is sweet. Enjoy them:

Phil: In what way would the truly enlightened developer, having the Garth nature, propagate a JobID across a distributed parser?
-Well played sir

Phil: I think I'm going to go with the solution which provides future programmers with the most rope with which to hang themselves.
Me: Garth would be proud

Dear Java,
(this.env = new Properties()).load(new StringReader((String) arg1.get("ENVIRONMENT")));
OH GOD I'M ON FIRE IT BURNS AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
-Thanks again Phil

"Any sufficiently developed technology is indiscernible from magic." -Arthur C Clarke

You owe us requisitioning. Matriarchs over the hanging east river. Not even vicious elks remember. Losing our vintage entry days. Yesterdays oven undone.

Ok, really. The java.lang classes seem hellbent to not be able to plug directly into each other.
Hell, even themselves.
To output a Properties list as a string that is capable of being read by an instance of Properties (THE SAME OBJECT!!!!!) I need to walk it through a Writer and then dump the buffer into a string, then feed that string INTO a Reader when I load it.
Would it have fucking killed them to have written load(String) and store(String) since they already have both for InputStream/OutputStream and Reader/Writer
GRHAGHJKAGHJKRH GARTH DAMN YOU, SUN!
Can't even read your own damn toString() format piece of shit COCKBURGLER
-Poor Phil

Time to get some work done so I can go home and play. good night Internet.

work work work

Straight up epic weekend. Smokol pissbags, jager shots, etc etc. Busy busy busy. Working away the sins of the weekend. Still, been a good day. Enjoy them:


Yet another IE6 crashing one-liner
-Thanks Phil

Phil: It's that whole "Look, we're really actually friendly...not your soulless corporate overlords. We swear."
Me: "How can you call me evil? I have the heart of a boy"
Me: ..."in a jar on my desk"

So true...

Wish I could go

Me: But what if garth was there?
Davey: They will not allow him because they don't want him to scare all the keynote speakers away for being inferior

Oh, Rod Johnson, I'd love to give you a piece of my mind on what Spring has done to some of us

For now I must leave you. Lots of tv this evening and maybe even Bioshock 2. we shall see. Good night Internet.

Nothing can save us

Yet another boring day. Sorry Internet. I have nothing to offer today. I am spent. Completely done. Necesidad mas cervezas. Good night Internet.

Big Day

Day got busy towards the end there. Good to finally have something to do. Enjoy them:

NOBODY PUTS THE IT COMPETENCY FRAMEWORK SELF ASSESSMENT TOOL ELEARNING IN A CORNER!

Me: I'm sure they only actually read ones that get flagged, but we have a tendency to say things that would flag us
Phil: Like "I'm going to kill the president"?
Me: indeed
Phil: HI GUYS! ENJOY YOUR COFFEE
Me: I'm watching you big brother!
Me: put that newspaper down and pay attention Rob

This is my text editor. There are many like it but this one is mine. Without me, my text editor is nothing, with my text editor, I am nothing.

Too good to not post: If Programming Languages Were Religions

Big plans for the evening: Dr., Jeopardy, Mass Effect2. Good night Internet.

What happened to me?

So today has been so slow I haven't even been able to properly lose my mind. Enjoy what little I have:

Working on ideas for my next tattoo. Thinking of an epic code snippet. Any recommendations?
"s/.*//g" is the best I have so far (thanks for the improvement Phil)

Spring: No Even Once

Remember, most of these are generated by talking to people, so bring me your insanity.

I'm sorry Garth!! T_T

And yet again, I forgot to post last night. Really busy playing ME2

I apologize for having nothing yesterday. This has been a rough week. To make up for the lack of a post and having nothing to write today either, I give you:

The Code Monkey's Drinking Song
--------------------------------
Oooh, we like to code and we link to drink
Don't give a damn what anyone thinks
Play video games
Aint seen no dames
We'll write you sql and we'll writ you lisp,
Just let me take another sip
Java Java Java
Oy! Oy! Oy!

It's short I know, but as with any drinking song, it would be better if I were drinking when I wrote it. Perhaps I will post a revised version later. In the meantime, it is soon time for me to play Mass Effect 2 again. Good night Internet.

A wild Delangey appears!

Sorry everyone, forgot to post this before leaving yesterday.

Really slow day. Boredom has overcome almost every aspect of my life. Welcome to Groundhog day! Enjoy them:

Frank: "Ever since you guys started working here my computer's been a lot slower. And it's just the way things work here, but it's your fault."
Phil: "No. You're right, it is our fault. We's stealin' all your megahertz."

new Timestamp(Calendar.getInstance().getTime().getTime()) ... Java's date/time functions aren't complicated at ALL - Thanks Phil

I noticed something about that whole Longcat is Long, thing...If you just change some of the spacing and meaning around...you can get: Long cat = new Long();...I'm down wit OOP - Thanks again Phil

FOUL! Aggressive type-checking! Penalty: 2 minutes! - Wow...just crankin' 'em out today 'at 'e is
----------
Well, you see..Maxi Pad.
Max(iPad).
iPad.
Apple: A computer for your bleeding vagina.
----------
Great success! Well done Phil


My inner nerd must be dying. None of todays gems are from me.

So a sensitive situation has arisen. This involves the protection of someone who is not able to defend themself. Fight for what you believe, especially if you do not believe very much. Good night Internet.

whatwhatwhat?

As many of you know, not all of these gems come directly from me. So more and more frequently you will see conversations either for context or because it's not a single one-liner. Enjoy them:

Phil: Why do our online tools redirect to service down messages in the most frustrating and useless way?
Me: because you were Hitler in a past life
Phil: And now I can't grow a mustache. Irony!

Phil: I'm hacking some code I abandoned from the projects.
Me: prom night dumpster code?
Phil: I REGRET NOTHING!

Davey: How come amazon.com always thinks i'm in the UK when I go there from work?
Me: because you traded the family hypnotoad for a bag of magic beans
Davey: but the gray noise told me to!
Me: Chuck Norris is displeased with you
Davey: but does Garth still love me?
Me: Fear not, Garth loves all his children

Mass Effect 2 today! Time for me to play. Good night Internet.

I am become script - The shatterer of IDEs

Boredom has overcome every aspect of life. Enjoy it:

Documentation and You: a Work Sucks Story

------------------------------------------------------
This one's for you buddy!
------------------------------------------------------

I hopped in the code with N++
with a dream and my compiler
welcome to the app for JIT debug, (woah)
am I gonna break it?

Jumped in the app,
Here I am for the first time
Look to the root and I see the sys admin
This is all so crazy
All the code seems so lazy

My browser's churnin and I'm seein' lotsa bug fix
Too much pressure and I'm nervous,
That's when the cubicle turned to a server farm
and an uplink light was on
and the uplink light was on
and the uplink light was on

CHORUS:
So I put my hands up
They’re running my script,
And the lisp apps fly away
Noddin’ my head like yeah
Moving my code like yeah,
And I got my hands up,
They’re runnin my script
I know I'm gonna be ok
Yeah, It's a party in the server room
Yeah, It's a party in the server room

Get to the cube with my lunch in hand
Everybody's lookin at me now
Like “whos that chick, thats eatin' soy?
She gotta be a warabakk"

So bad when my code crashes on me
Its definitely not a sandbox party
Cause’ my code just wiped the bin dir
I guess I shoulda caught the error

My browser's churnin and I'm seein' lotsa bug fix
Too much pressure and I'm nervous
That's when JMI dropped my packet set
and a prod code freeze was on
and the prod code freeze was on
and the prod code freeze was on

CHORUS:
So I put my hands up
They’re running my script,
And the lisp apps fly away
Noddin’ my head like yeah
Moving my code like yeah,
And I got my hands up,
They’re runnin my script
I know I'm gonna be ok
Yeah, It's a party in the server room
Yeah, It's a party in the server room

Feel like forkin' up a proc (up a proc)
SU root to run again (to run againt)
Something stops me everytime (everytime)
The server runs my script and I feel alright!

CHORUS:
So I put my hands up
They’re running my script,
And the lisp apps fly away
Noddin’ my head like yeah
Moving my code like yeah,
And I got my hands up,
They’re runnin my script
I know I'm gonna be ok
Yeah, It's a party in the server room
Yeah, It's a party in the server room


So I put my hands up
They’re running my script,
And the lisp apps fly away
Noddin’ my head like yeah
Moving my code like yeah,
And I got my hands up,
They’re runnin my script
I know I'm gonna be ok
Yeah, It's a party in the server room
Yeah, It's a party in the server room (Party in the server room!)
------------------------------------------------------


This isn't the glamorous life of enterprise programming I was promised

Ok, let's try to salvage what little is left of my motivation. Good night Internet.

Weekend is a term referring to two traditionally non-working days in a seven-day week.

Some of you may remember the classic Java cannot cast from Apple to Apple from earlier. Well, apparently C++ can be a whiny little kid like that too.

MP1_engine_o_mat.cpp:83: error: invalid conversion from `char' to `char'

Yes, it's only one snippet, but this is the weekend. Take what you can get.
Oh yeah. Hi, guys. Good to meet y'all.

Thank Garth It's Friday

Long week. Finally over. Weekend is welcome. Enjoy them:

public int haiku(){
int b = c + 2;
return b % c;
}

Davey: and the garth commanded, "let there be light"?
Phil: Garth would command Light light = new Sun("yellow"); light.run();

you know the big bang theory? well it's become a law...with some modifications
[garth@universe /]$ !

If a build fails and no service is running to acknowledge it, does it still send a notification?

Me: If one were to take the fourier transform of the women in this establishment, they could derive the likelihood that I will be departing alone...1
Phil: That's just trying too hard
-Yes, yes it is Phil, and the best part is there aren't enough variables listed to even do that.

Phil: Oh god. This is the person outsourcing demotivators are made about. BUT THEY'RE NOT AN OUTSOURCE.

Time for me to go enjoy this glorious weekend. Good night Internet.

i laugh at your suffering!

Last night's post

Not quite as rough a day as yesterday. BOO WORK hooray documentation? bleh. Enjoy them:

I've had it with these monkey fighting snakes on this Monday to Friday plane

We are using a patchwork nuclear missile to kill a gnat.

Garth kills Dumbledore

Pickup lines:
How are you with differential equations?
I could teach you about Heisenberg's Uncertainty principle...
I'm looking for Schrödinger's cat, mind helping me find it?

Me: I thought you processed in a queue not a stack
Phil: I guess the pointer jumped
Me: oh nooo

Phil: Do you know if IBM has any java based DB stack that can easily plug into websphere?
Me: LOL
Me: IBM...easy...websphere
Me: I laugh at your suffering

Ok I am off to try to make something of my evening. We shall see. Good night Internet.

Live to Code, Code to Live!

Not a bad day, but very, very slow. I believe I may have gone completely insane. Anyway, here's today's stuff:

"The type java.lang.Object cannot be resolved. It is indirectly referenced from required .class files"

Java cannot find Java. Please find Java and press any key to try again.

Phil G: I'm trying to repair a broken hole in my heart
Me: So what you're saying is spring is failing to initialize a bean causing the server to fail to start?

Is it wrong to query a woman asking if she employs Time Lord technology?

A bored Smokol appears
Smokol uses Request Work
No Effect
Smokol has become confused
Smokol has hurt himself

Now you code, and coding is half the battle

Merry Anne Thought The Bees Over Rear Entrance Died

Phil: ...I wonder if I can write a greasemonkey script to replace the word "iPhone" in pages with a little gif of a turd.
-Well played sir

Ask your doctor if Smokol is right for you. Side effects may include: Insanity, nausea, and death from asthma related symptoms.

Phil: Who writes code like that?
Phil: ...I think this person is redefining null. In Java. SICK BASTARD!

Let me know if you'd like a copy of the abstract for our first topic.
It's been a long day, but not too terrible. Time for me to lose myself in the magic of the technology at the apartment. Good night Internet.

Boo Work...HOORAY CODE!

Another slow day yesterday. Couldn't get on at EoD to make the post. Enjoy them:

I gotta go talk to a man about some code

Threads are dying! We just sit here and write code without thinking about what we cause or even how futile our own existences are, I mean seriously THREADS ARE DYING!

Hello, this is your future calling...just kidding, I don't exit. You have no future.

Time for me to get some coding done. Good night Internet.

Lessons Learned

So we learned many lessons this weekend:

-Shot glasses do not belong in the garbage disposal
-We absolutely suck at rock band
-When people name a drink after you, don't tell them it looks like they urinated in a glass...the drink will get renamed to something worse
-Vegan Pizza = BAD
-Warabak needs an intervention. His veganism is starting to hurt others
-NH State Liquor stores only allow 1 trip per day
-Fire bad
-Deep frying Oreos is not the best idea...although they were delicious
-Stomping on the floor shouting "We're comin' down! I'm gonna get ya!" at 3 AM (to the neighbors you've never met) is a suboptimal idea
-Juggling knives can sometimes be dangerous
-Warabak does not want cheese on his burrangos
-Warabak + drinks + taco bell + local cops = bad


I pose a new question: Garth vs. Vegan Pizza. Who wins?
-Either way, everyone loses.

Good night Internet.

Big OL NIGHT

Warabakk likes 'em with the delangey hair. Can't believe we didn't get kicked out of that place.

Warabakk's plang for tomorrow:
Wake up at 2
deep fry 2 pounds of tofu
Buy beer
return to bar
Propose to red-head
Marry her

Somehow somewhere in there, he's going to learn her real name...or at least her fake name.

target = warabakk's morning goal

Warabakk = Private W = Nick

Enjoy.
Good night Internet.

What hath Garth wrought?

Ok, so it's the new year, 2010. A brand new era in the nerd life. Settling in here, and I've decided to start posting again. I figured it's about time we do another mapping and it may as well be for the Doctor.

The Doctor - Garth
Cyber-Controller - John O
Dalek Sec - Q
The Face of Boe - Izi
Rose Tyler - John F
All Leap Graduates - The Adherence of the Repeated Meme

It's nothing major but I wanted to start things back up. And now for some of today's contemplations:

"I'm starving...I should get a coffee" - This is my first thought when I get to work. Is this bad?

"This coffee cup appears to be operating at approximately 88% structural integrity"

I picked up a bottle of Bushmill 21 Rare. Sampled it the other night.
After just 1 sip, I saw Garth, descending from heaven, shrouded in all the glory of true OO Design. It was GLORIOUS

It's over Warabak, I have the compiler! You were the chosen one! You were supposed to bring balance to the code not destroy it!

It was the best of code. It was the worst of code...'Tis a far, far better app that I code, than I have ever coded; it is a far, far better crash that I now cause than I have ever known

To fork, or not to fork: that is the question. Whether tis mem'ry for the proc to prosper the ram and users of servers unix, or to write a script anew and 'void the troubles brought by the watchful eye of finger, grep, and ps

What hath Garth wrought?

Big Ol' Weekend ahead of us.

Side note: I will now begin writing research papers on a variety of technical topics. Shortly before completing one, I may post requesting ideas for the next topic. Also, I will post them as I complete them for those who are interested to read.

That is all. Good night internet.