You can't win

Ok so not much today, but what little there is I believe to be pretty good. Enjoy:

Phil: My project manager: "Why did we choose to use Hibernate? ... ... ... Fuck."
-just wow

Me: i offer you proof you can't win in life

Person subject = BabyFactory.newChild();
while(subject.isAlive())
try{
switch(subject.maturity){
case KID:
subject.school.start;
while(!subject.school.isDone())
subject.wait();
subject.work().start;
break;
case ADOLESCENT:
subject.highSchool.start();
while(!subject.highSchool.isDone())
subject.wait();
break;
case YOUNG_ADULT:
subject.college.start();
while(!subject.college.isDone())
subject.wait();
break;
case ADULT:
while(!subject.work.isDone())
subject.wait();
break;
case OLD:
subject.retire.start();
break;
default:
subject.die();
break;
}
subject.mature();

}catch(YourMotherNeverLovedYouException e){
logger.error("give up");
}catch(YoureAConstantDisappointmentToYourMotherAndIException e){
logger.error("why won't you give up?");
}catch(CripplingDepressionException e){
logger.severe("hang yourself");
}catch(SoulCrushingDefeatException e){
logger.fatal("you lose");
}catch(WinningLotteryException e){
subject.addHabit(Habits.COKE);
}
}

Phil: Inspirational. You catch all those exceptions then continue on with life.

Phil: Perfect
Phil: Plus now you've left room for not acting one's age if maturity gets misset.


All that being said, /wrists

Time for my new favorite drinking game: "Clean the apartment"...yes it's exactly as fun as it sounds. Good night Internet.