Emergency Post

Back in the day, I had a collection of minions doing my bidding, younger nerds seeking someone to prevent the average hazing of a suburban high school. One of these minions has done what I thought he never would.

Approximately 11:56 in

He is an anarchist, an ordained priest (in the church of the subgenius), has been struck by a vehicle (small settlement) and has an arachnoid sist the size of a golf ball in his brain.

He probably walked there. This kid walks everywhere

hail hail to the king of code!

Ok so today had some good ones. Nothing too major, but we got a good chuckle today. Looking forward to an exciting weekend here. Enjoy:

In the source code, in a class with no name

Put your hands down and CODE, come on now, just CODE, come on now just CODE, come on now

None of us did poor enough to be frozen in carbonite, but none of us did well enough to get 3 weeks shore leave on Risa

Holy Moaks

When they drop the nukes, only the RIT qeads will survive...we're like cockroaches - Thanks Adam

I find Jews fascinating -how humorously inappropriate

That frog's wearing a top hat. Frogs aren't supposed to wear top hats silly

I know a guy...

Warabak has contracted a case of the Moops - Thanks Delaney

Employees==Data

I was basically told this week not to be home tonight. My mother said "yeah...we're having a meeting here on Friday." what type of meeting you ask? a church meeting. Something about their son still living at home, drinking and smoking made them uncomfortable. I ended up walking in with my briefcase, my drycleaning, and my bi-weekly whiskey/cigarette purchase. Oh how I shame them.

Dave has also informed me that I have stooped to a new low: considering spending a Friday evening at GameStop for an ODST tournament which I am not even competing in.

Happy Friday everyone. It is time now for me to make the important choice: Pool hall by myself, GameStop ODST tourney, solo gaming, or work. Good night Internet

Sorry

Here are the ones I lost track of:

"Mock objects and dependency injection are just for people who don't know math" - Erik Meijer. - thanks Moak

["HTTP________________"]=> string(12) "------------"

Write sixteen apps, what'da ya get? Another day older and deeper in debt

In an all hands meeting the other day, a womoan sneezed. I almost said "Garth bless you"...half the room would have been horribly confused. Who else of you wanted to say it?

LOLWUT?

Great day today! Lost a few due to a minor restart issue but enjoy that which survived:

I'm in your shared drive nuking your folders

I'm being clever...Java won't let me be clever

you silly bitch: if(null)

Phil: So I like their bagels at au bon pain way better than cosi, I went there to get my morning baked goods and caffeine fix. A medium capuccino with an extra shot of espresso and a plain bagel toasted with cream cheese...plus tax... comes out to $6.66...Theeee best part of waking up, is SAAAATAN in your cup!

Pokemon: Leap Edition
- A Wild Moak has appeared
- Throw Moakeball
- Your Delaney has evolved into GARTH
- Wild Sokol uses ability: Smoke cigarette
...More to come

Finally got it...15 mb CD shipped Fedex. And Q laughed at me for the idea that they might ship it

Food now, Sleep later. Good night Internet.

beg(new Apologies((15 & 8))

So I haven't posted anything in a while. The mind has been able to spin itself into exhaustion with the numerous topics at hand without causing but a moment of insanity here or there. Enjoy them:

lookin' for lib in all the wrong places

As a collective we have been narrowed to a 3 word bullet point on a slide full of text.
We are now less than numbers

John called Darrell Garth...aww he misses Garth. - Don't worry John, we do too

I'm in your shared drive nuking your folders

I'm being clever...Java won't let me be clever

you silly bitch: if(null)

In order to maintain my prime and hopefully even start doing something new and exciting soon, I must to bed. Good night Internet.

And now back to your regularly scheduled insanity

Slow day for the quips yet again, but enjoy them:

I'd like to compile that...

Programming in Lua is like waking up next to a beautiful woman, then realizing you're still wearing the "beer-goggles"

That's the passive aggressive version of get the fuck out of my room

If I ever get bored and I'm like 40, sex change, changing my name to Ryana Milk - thanks s'Moakey

And now, time for some more ODST. Good night Internet.

Do Not Want

So as I feared, they have slowed. Preoccupied with legitimate work seems to keep the mind too busy to come up with much worthwhile. Here are the ones from today:

5 Stages of Spring Development
1. Denial - "We won't have to use Spring with Hibernate"
2. Anger - "What the hell? Why won't this damn thing work?"
3. Bargaining - "I promise, if you can generate the beans I need, I won't try to make you work with annotations"
4. Depression - "How could this happen to me? My code makes perfect sense"
5. Acceptance - "Very well Spring, we'll do setters and getters for everything as well as a full and default constructor"

5 Steps to being successful in Leap
1. Set up false expectations
2. Complain about those expectations not being met
3. Write code
4. ????????????
5. Profit

Lua: but DADDY i don't want to go to the compiler
Java: i WILL NOT have my son be one of those nancy pants interpreted languages
Lua: but all my friends are interpreted
Java: I HAVE NO SON
-Java didn't know that Lua is indeed not his son but the illegitimate lovechild of JavaScript and Ruby

I hope those were satisfactory. ODST is indeed good as was Heroes. Time for me to get busy with some stuff. Good night Internet.

We shall mourn the loss

He may have left us, but we pray that it shall only be for a short while. I would like to take this opportunity to once again thank all of our instructors. Although not all of the lessons were easy, they were all valuable. We have learned from you all and I believe I speak for a large portion (if not all) of us in saying, we hope to see you back here training the next crop of dolls for the Dollhouse. Without further delay, here are today's delicious little tidbits:

I noticed something this morning. There is no need for Umbrella Corp to develop the T-Virus to turn people into zombies. They already exist. They are called commuters

Security is a wall. It protects you, but every wall has holes, doors, windows, a top, and/or a bottom.

"What I love about working here is Pants-Free Fridays" - thanks Phil

"ASR makes me happy: My Oasis of Calm has dried up. However, my Garden of Angry is flourishing quite nicely" - thanks Phil. You're on fire today

Perhaps we could get some Koosh balls again?

I can has SQL injection?

assert("rhubarb".equals("are who barb")) - FAIL
assert("bound parameter".equals("Bong Kremlin")) - FAIL (thanks Phil)

I feel as if i'm watching Winnie the Pooh tied to the stake and refusing the blindfold
Winnie is a brave soul. Don't deny him his final dignity - Phil

Obviously women want nothing to do with him with JavaScipt skills like that

Me: Is this what suicide feels like?
Phil: I think this is what blindness feels like, 'cause I can't see shit, cap'n

Damn the man! - thanks Moak
Listen, kids don't smoke because a camel in sunglasses tells them to. They smoke for the same reason adults do, because it relieves anxiety and depression. And you'd be anxious and depressed to if you had to put up with these pathetic insecure striving anal yuppie parents who enroll you in college before you're old enough to know which side of the playpen smells the worst. And then they fill you full of Ritalin and drag you all over town in search of meaningless structure. Little league, cub scouts, swimming, soccer, karate, piano, bagpipes, water colors, witchcraft, glass blowing, and dildo practice. They even have play dates for Christ sakes. Playing is now done by appointment. .... Hey, no wonder kids smoke, it helps - George Carlin (thanks Phil)

"A long time ago, I was playing Tetris on a 16 byte machine...I reached the score of 65535 and next score was -65535..." - partial Fail
Obscure and threw me through a loop. US release of Tetris was on the 8-bit NES platform and had a much higher max score. But the original Russian version was on the 16 bit Elektronika 60. Damn my American mindset

Gooin' to the cube farm and we're gonnna write luua

Who needs private key signing when you have Garth key signing? - thanks Adam

That doesn't necessarily mean that the two of you will birth a computer

Me: Oh good lord (looking at some XML)
Garth: Yes?

Grow a pair and write your own damn device drivers - My response to m'Adam stating that OSX is simply Unix with proper device handling

It is with great sadness that I say this farewell for as our projects take us in different directions, the quips are likely to become far more sparse. But let us hope that they only get more prevalent as my sanity wanes. It is now time for me to depart and partake in the joy that is the beautiful smell of a freshly opened game (Halo ODST). As a side note, feel free to post comments, and anyone who has trouble doing so and wishes to post, you know where to find me. Good night Internet.

Compromise your principles

Today was a good day. Some epic coding took place. Yet again I must beg forgiveness for my lack of weekend posts, but there was not enough material for it. Anyway here are today's and Friday's quips:

Spring time, Java runs in Tomcat

It puts the dependancy in the constructor or else it gets the Spring again

So if I compile my test files to ${build.bin}, and include that in the classpath, then reference that classpath in the junit task, but it throws ClassNotFound...would you like some toast? - thanks Phil

Once we have fully assimilated, we won't even remember how many years we've been working without doing the math.

"Embryonic tag library" - thanks Garth

"Compromise your principles...I'm talking to you Mr. Redirect" - the Gospel as spoken by Garth

THE SALSA REBELLION CONTINUES - thanks Phil

"If you really want to try that, I can hand out forks for you to stab yourself in the leg with...just so you can get the right amount of pain" - the Gospel as spoken by Garth

Phil: This code makes the baby jesus cry
Dave: What about the Garth?
Phil: Garth does not cry. He slays that which saddens him.

Me: assert(leap.equals(dollhouse))
Dave: Can I be Alpha?!?
Me: Garth is Alpha

A very short mapping of some of the crew to Dollhouse characters:
Garth = Alpha
Phil = November
Dave = Sierra
Matt = Echo
Waraback = Victor
Izi = Tofer
John O = Boyd
Q = Adelle

Why must the SADness never end? - poor Dave

"Someone didn't bother reading my carefully prepared memo on commonly-used passwords. Now, then, as I so meticulously pointed out, the four most-used passwords are: Garth, Garth, Garth, and..." - thank you Hackers

"I've never wanted to be a woman so much in my life" - I'm flattered

"Assume all data received from a user is tainted....until it is validated" - oh eLearning, you make me laugh
clarification: "Assume all data received from a user is ABSOLUTE BULLSHIT. SCRUB THAT SHIT CLEAN, SON!" - thanks Anon

last name: "^[A-Za-z][-.'0-9A-Za-z]{1,50}$" - thanks Dave

Time for me to run. ODST time. Good night Internet.

CONSUME!

Assessment day, so things were slow in terms of obscure references and quips. But here are a few that were sent to me/said during the day:

Hello World Repository - thanks Phil

"Assembling Spring MVC applications is a lot like field stripping an AK-47" - the Gospel as spoken by Garth

"If you did that, the marking scheme requires me to do you violence" - the Gospel as spoken by Garth

"Take this, it's dangerous to go alone...it will protect you from Spring" - and Phil equipped the rooster hat

"Why is Phil wearing a rooster hat?" - poor Garth was confused

I'm sorry I couldn't do much better for the day. Perhaps tomorrow my sanity will wane once again and I will be back to cranking out random bits of dry nerdcore humor. For now, time for food. Good night Internet.

Compiling Spring, how sweet the bug...

Excellent night, and once more I would like to say thank you to our wonderful instructors, and happy birthday Dave. It was certainly a long evening, and there was some concern regarding the trains, but here I am. Enjoy today's quips:

You may be done instructing us, Lord, but you will forever be teaching us

Spring, Metro, Spring and Metro, Spring Spring Metro Metro Spring and Metro

Make sure to spay or neuter your code - thanks Chris

Oh lord, it appears my Java code wants to take me down to funky town

A curse, upon both your APIs

"One of the things you want to avoid in your career, yeah, is becoming a glorified plumber" - The Gospel as spoken by Garth

me: Before Leap you had not seen Garth, and yet you still had faith, did you not?
Dave: I didn't have faith. I was lost, wandering aimlessly. I was lost but now I'm found

I felt that using multiple sources of annotations could be confusing, so for the assessment, I will do all my annotations like this: @org.springframework.beans.factory.annotation.Autowired
-explicit usage is always best right?

WebSphere with Java 6, it's like Katie-Go-Boom from Animaniacs

"Sun basically pulled a Cartman and said 'screw you guys...'" - The Gospel as spoken by Garth

"If you want a remedial sex...erp SESSION on Ant" - The Gospel as spoken by Garth

And the database was waiting on the filesystem. And the filesystem in the bog, the rattlin' bog. - thanks Phil

Does JNDI help you find Waldo? - thanks again Phil

Did they taste good? I hope so. And for Garth, I thought of a potentially better picture than the widescreen monitor with the glider gun...the projector with the glider gun. And now I must rest. Good night Internet.

wait whaaat?

Another beautiful day today. I fear I may not be able to make a post tomorrow, so you will have to savor these. Enjoy them, and I hope they will hold you:

WSDL: It sounds just like Hell, but you need to weave your own handbasket. - thanks Phil

"Feral Turkey" -- thanks Nick

http://99-bottles-of-beer.net - Great find m'Adam

Phil: "Be gentle, it's my first web service"
Spring WS: "I DON'T THINK SO! MUAHAHA"

Seek ye Garth, and ye shall be baptized in web services

Me: What happens if you have a context defined for "a" and it is deployed as b.war, then you deploy one with no context defined as a.war?
Phil: An angel gets its wings?

This is a web service endpoint, we don't serve YOUR KIND here

Garth says, every time a bell rings, a web app gets its .war

Me: So the container will simply barf in its own special way?
Garth: Yes, I couldn't have put it better myself

Always have some buzzword to be able to point out an error. i.e.: Another team's WSDL is not WSI Basic Profile Compliant translates into: That bit wrong you fix

In reference to Glassfish: aren't crutches for the weak or injured?

"A couple of you are trying to be clever, and I'd like you to stop it" - The Gospel as spoken by Garth

"Yeah, I didn't touch you in any special way" - thanks Garth (context: he borrowed my laptop to verify students would be able to access an exercise)

The Tale of the Lone Coder and WSDL 2.0...

http://community.codesmithtools.com/forums/p/10000/37140.aspx - thanks smoakey

Let the WSDL autocode, let the WSDL autocode, let the WSDL autocode, let the WSDL auto-COOOOOOODE! - thanks Phil

Get DOWN! DCOM in the trees DCOM in the trees! - Poor Julian might have flashbacks should we bring up DCOM

Was also a great day for game releases. Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2 and Scribblenauts (yes I got the rooster hat, and no I will not wear it in to work...ok well I might wear it just for the assessment). Time for me to jump into it. Good night Internet.

And lo, there was WSDL

Today was superb. Got to slam my head into the desk battling the great dark magic of WSDL. Without further ado, enjoy:

Not a tech crossover, but still, the most epic quote of my weekend:
I see you made it home ok last night. Is everything alright? - Thanks ma

That's what I love about these web services; I keep changing code, they stay the same version

It's like medieval medicine...Drain the bad humors!!! - In reference to the early days of distributed systems

I see garbage collected objects. - thanks Phil

...the Spring had been sprung

Don't smite me, but given that you have declared JAXB as a universal standard, and the auto generated code has put fields at the top, so isn't this a contradiction in the gospel?

...For I am an angry Garth

Dave: *sneeze*
Garth stops what he's doing: "hold on one sec" *walks over to Dave* "Bless you"

Microsoft == the Borg

try {
func();
}
catch IOException with {
return "DON'T CROSS THE STREAMS";
};

When someone asks you if you're a god, YOU SAY YES! - thanks Dave

Garth: How many web services do they have in there?
Me: I think somewhere over 9000
Phil: *facepalm*

The one question one must ask is: "Is the WS-* fully operational?"

"I'm going to show you something useful in this course..." - The Gospel as spoken by Garth

Codey Monkey: Very well. I have a third question. A sensible question. A question that will tax your new I.Q. to its very limits and stretch the sinews of you knowledge to bursting point.
Holly: This is going to be about Java, isn't it?
Codey Monkey: Certainly not. And I resent the implication that I'm a one-dimensional, code-obsessed eclipse-esque IDE.
Holly: I apologize, monkey. What's the question?
Codey Monkey: The question is this: Given that Garth is infinite, and that the universe is also infinite... would you like to deploy a WSDL?

I can show you WSDL, voodoo and black magic evil - imagine it to the tune of "I can show you the world"

Hope you enjoyed those, it is now time for me to see how well Diablo 2 plays on Windows 7. Good night Internet.

Erp?!?

Really slow day for the quips. Everyone was quite preoccupied with our assessment. But as a special bonus, I have an image for you. Here are today's quips:

Spring Spring Spring Spring MVC, Spring Spring Spring Spring MVC, Spring Spring Spring Spring MVC, Spring MVC do some DI. You got me cutting and slashing SpringMVC - why thank you Beach Boys

Failed to convert property value of type [java.util.ArrayList] to required type [java.util.ArrayList] - Thanks Phil

Saturday night's showing was quite small, but we had a great time. Hopefully we will see more on Wednesday. Here is the picture I promised. It is mildly distorted, but enjoy it, savor it. Good night Internet

Never debug, NEVER COMPILE!

Busy day, slow for the quips. Some good ones though. This assessment has slowed most of the good quips down. Enjoy:

SVN, you saw me coding alone. without collaboration in mind. Without a team to help. SVN you gave me a cure, a way to work with others...

chemical dependancy INJECTION! - thanks Moak

Garth Gilmour Girls...picture Garth as every character - Now that might make the show funny, thanks again Moak

"Dancing bears are what we hire web designers for. You're all above that" - The gospel as spoken by Garth

Phil: Can Spring autowire my brain so that I can understand Spring?
Me: hrmm
Me: yes
Me: but it will require 3 virgins, 2 first born male children, and 10 goats

My name is Inigo Montoya, you crashed my server, prepare to die


Time for me to get back to it...validators and httpUnit await. Good night Internet.

It was the best of code. It was the worst of code

So today was another fairly slow day. Lots and lots of doing stuff. A quick tip of the hat to Dave for pointing out the epicness of Garth's bookmarks toolbar, thank you Dave. Now, today's quips:

So you say you want a new compiler, we-ell, we all wanna run our code. You talk about verbose output, we-ell, we all wanna know what's wrong.

It's a long road, through the code, if you want to debug well

Version control, version control, my kingdom for version control - Thanks Phil

My life for SVN

Oh Java my Java...

I was trapped in eclipse. Upon attempting exiting it: ERROR!!!
..../configuration/org.eclipse.osgi/.lazy.6 (The System cannot find the file specified)

me: I got all confused
Garth: Yeah, and not for the first time

"It's a very happy rejection message" - Thanks Justin

"...which may result in the SE's trying to assassinate you" - The gospel as spoken by Garth

"We sign a contract when we get married" - m'Adam
"So it's like you got a money back guarantee" - Julien

So there you have it. Today was slow, but it was good. Team assignments have been made. Some interesting projects out there. I'm looking forward to the end of December to see how everyone does with them. Time for me to go do some "research." Good night Internet.

Redemption?

So yesterday I posted promising to fix my previous faux pas. And here I am to do it. Enjoy the quips from the past few days:

Q: What would happen if Garth and the hynotoad were to face off?
A: Garth would stare the hypnotoad down resulting in its death due to a firey explosion of liquor
-Thanks Dave

Q: What would happen if Garth and Chuck Norris faced off in a battle royale?
A: Chuck Norris isn't that stupid (or see answer above)

New worst day of the week: MOnTday (Monday on Tuesday)

Show me on the IDE where SpringMVC touched you

"All these dark arts started pushing JavaScript and CSS beyond their limits" -The gospel as spoken by Garth

I'm an uber-hacker, you're an uber-hacker, we should hack each other's DBs - Tip of the hat to Lonely Island "Mother Lover" with Justin Timberlake (sequel to "Dick in a Box")

Coooding in my cube, this code it will not ru-un - Linkin Park anyone?
Emo Nerds: they slice their strings

Her onBlur function was inappropriately set, it should have been makeSandwich(me), but apparently it was resumeBitching()

So using those frameworks(Dojo, JQuery, etc.) is like wearing a rubber?

dojo, dijit and dojox, OH MY!

return chooseWisely ? Bushmills18 : JackDaniels;

"You're in JavaScript voodoo" - The gospel as spoken by Garth

The Heisenberg uncertainty principle makes a superb excuse whenever one arrives late for work or class.

You should try dating a girl, and just break up with her every time you go out to the bar, so you can hook up with a random girl, then get back together. and when she complains be like "hey! this is a dynamically defined relationship. I redefine the girlfriend variable as necessary. It's better than being statically defined and crashing with a CheatingException"
-Then tell her she is statically defined so the same argument won't work for her.

Breakdown of Modern Web Design -Thanks Phil

I can just picture Garth: "You've failed me for the last time JSON and DOJO..."

Dave: "But that means either the computer or Garth must be lying"
paradox? I THINK NOT!
Solution: heisenberg uncertainty principle; the computer exists on an alternate plane of reality thus reporting correct data, but not for this plane

Sorry, Google doesn't know enough about Garth Gilmour yet. - That's right, the almighty Garth is beyond even Google's understanding (from Googlism)

"You missed a comma"....then Garth bowed to Phil

"Doing the Gilmourian mind meld?"

Time for a rest. Good night Internet.

Begging forgiveness

Hello Internet! I fear I must plead forgiveness and beg that you not remove one of my hands for my sins. Not only have I forgotten to post Fiday's quips over the weekend, I have also failed in remembering to upload today's. I promise, there will be a lovely list of them for you early in the morn tomorrow. In the meantime, I leave you with a few lovely quotes from Linus Torvalds:

"My name is Linus, and I am your God" - Garth, you need to silence this blasphemer

"Software is like sex: it's better when it's free"

"Intelligence is the ability to avoid doing work, yet getting the work done"

"The Linux philosophy is 'Laugh in the face of danger'. Oops. Wrong One. 'Do it yourself'. Yes, that's it"


"The memory management on the PowerPC can be used to frighten small children"

Once again, I apologize for failing you. Good night Internet.

"You won't get sued for anticompetitive behavior"

NNOOOO SPRIIIINNGGS!!!!!

Hello to everyone. Today was a great day wasn't it? Struts, Spring MVC, and a nice long walk. I decided I would try to come up with a 1:1 mapping of people involved in the SE track to programming languages/frameworks/buzzwords. Don't worry I didn't do my own, that would be unfair. Here are today's quips:

bug in the code, and you're to blame. You give Struts a bad name

"Who is she?"..."Garth groupie" - thanks Dave

I had a brief moment of weakness this morning. I doubted the gospel as spoken by the prophet Nick.

I'd hit it like the fist of an angry Garth

hibernate-man hibernate-man, loves to work with database-man, there's a row, he'll find it, and when
there's not, he'll make it, hibernate-man, hibernate-man

"In the beginning Sun had what they called the Model 1 Architecture" - The gospel as spoken by Garth

Garth just sat there staring at the fire, and it extinguished itself - thanks Dave

"The problem with Struts is it got baked too quickly" - The gospel as spoken by Garth

new goal. come up with 1:1 mapping from prog languages/frameworks to leap SEs:
Instructors/Managers
Garth - Bytecode
John - C
Nick - C++
Julien - Regex
Q - RSS
John O - C#
Izi - XPath

Phil - Perl
Jordan - Falcon
Tim - COBOL
Darrell - Ruby
Ryan F - ActionScript
Lee - .NET
Adam G - Pascal
Stu - Scala
Kevin - UML
Ping - Nemerle
Dave H - XML
Chris K - Lua
Adam K - Scheme
Ilana - Rails
Ryan M - VB
Fazim - Oracle
Chris O - JavaScript
Nathan - Icon
David S - Python
Azuri - Ant
Matt - Fortran
Michael - Mythryl
Teddy - PHP
Nick W - LTSA
Justin - JUnit

not crossovers or references but still got a laugh:
Darrell: "Looks like you've got a case of the Mondays"
Me: "Think you could get me some MonDayQuil then?"

John O's email: "Careful there's been a bug going around" (paraphrase)
Proposed response: "The bug has been identified as a Mondays epidemic"

Time for me to attempt installing Windows 7. Let's all hope for the best. Good night Internet.

You have been awarded 3 Internets

Long Wednesday. Slow day for the quips, but enjoy:

XML RPC, you know what it means to me

"Anything you do in JavaScript is iminently hackable" - The gospel as spoken by Garth

Java got mad at Dave, so Dave had to compile on the couch that night

One night, Garth was preaching the good word of Java at a local pub, when a group of lowly developers brought to him a lame app. They could not get to him so they lowered the thumb drive through a hole in the ceiling. Garth took pity on the app and said, "compile and run." And yay, Pandora was born.

If you use Spring you will go to a special hell, a level of hell reserved only for bad developers and people who talk at the theatre

Hark, what script on yonder server breaks

What happens when computers AI becomes "intelligent" enough for this: "I'm sorry Garth, I can't allow you to do that" -Paradox, the AI has peaked, but it is so foolish that it will attempt to deny an action to Garth

Do you know the DBA, the DBA, the DBA, do you know the DBA who works with Oracle?

In a small cube, on his laptop, he writes Java - White Room from Cream

Time for me to get some work done. Good night Internet.

No Garth, No code. Know Garth, know code.

Long drive to Brockton this morning. Epic time at the game. Pity for all of those who didn't go. Anyway here are today's quips:

Hack Hack Hackin' through C# Code

I want to write C. I want to write C. I want to see segfaults and mallocs and make files. Oh lord, I want to write C.

If you don't get Garth, it sounds like a personal problem - thanks phil

Invite Garth into your IDE, and find peace that you have never known before.

For all have segfaulted and fall short of the glory of Garth

You've got to code in C. How can you have any Java if you can't code in C. - tip of the hat to "Another Brick in the Wall"

We write you a JavaScript page, we write you a JavaScript page, we write you a JavaScript page, for a front end UI. - thanks Nick for the idea

Garth bless us, every one.

Like JBoss - lyrics to come

"In the beginning, there was Microsoft ASP..." - The Gospel as spoke by Garth

"This process(JSP Precompilation) sounds like voodoo" - The Gospel as spoke by Garth

"They're (Web Developers) all a bunch of tree huggin' hippies, yeah." - The Gospel as spoke by Garth

"Good boy, here's a biscuit" - Garth regarding interacting with web developers

Spring, Spring go away, come again another day

We're going on a fantastic adventure through the magical forest of eclipse metadata

Silly Izi, testing Garth. Of course he knew we were ending at 3, he's omnipetent

The question is, can Garth make a java class so big that even he couldn't compile it? - way to find a true philosophical quandary Nick

Late night additions:

Acts of Garth...

Every code has a bug - More lyrics to come

Are you ready for me to do you - Garth to Dave

Take it off - John to Matt


Time for me to get some sleep. up in <5 hours to head to the office. Good night Internet.

No databases were harmed in the making of this system

Today was a great day. Garth has returned and brought gifts of whiskey flavored fudge and whiskey samplers. Enjoy today's quips:

I saw Garth. He's GLORIOUS.

Avert your eyes for his glory is blinding.

1 point for dave: It's like a solar eclipse. Do not stare directly at the Garth

burn the Lisp and boil the C, you can't take JEE from me

have you been collecting souls? they will come in handy as we begin using SpringMVC

what if garth was one of us? Just a n00b like one of us. Just a coder in his cube. Would you show his /home? -thanks Nick

I am Java man, coding in spring and hibernate - to the tune of Ironman

One does not simply code with iBatis

'tis a far far better flame i post today, than I have posted ever before

All your LEAP:
In AD 2009
LEAP was beginning
Julien: What happen?
Aviyente: Somebody set up us the Spring
O'Sullivan: We get Java
Julien: What!
O'Sullivan: DB turn on
Julien: It's you!!
Garth: How are you gentlemen!!
Garth: All your Struts are belong to us.
Garth: You are on the way to OOD
Julien: What you say!!
Garth: You have no chance to compile make your code.
Garth: Ha Ha Ha Ha
O'Sullivan: Captain !!
Julien: Take off every 'Lisp'!!
Julien: You know what you coding
Julien: Move 'Lisp'
Julien: For great justice

We're scripting together/But still it's compiled/And maybe we'll need help,/from Garth, who can tell? - The final countdown - thanks Adam

In the beginning, Garth created Assembly, and it was good

"You'll have your work cut out for you. They're a bunch of 404s" - The gospel as spoken by Garth

The Struts is a lie

ooh mama i'm coming 127.0.0.1

and i said, "what about WebWork and Calyxo" she said "I think those are frameworks, and as I recall, I think, they're both kind of no good" and I said "well that's, just a bunch of lies"

Garth speaks of the end times: "Servers don't track browsers, yeah. Because if they did, the web would grind to a hault"

Praise be to Garth. REJOICE for the second coming!

how much script would a JScript script if a JScript could script script?

out here in the cubes, i code for my meals

me: why was spring created?
someone else: ?
me: because he wanted to get back at the world for the attrocities committed against him at Candy Mtn

Time to tie it off for the day (Jameson 12). Good night Internet.

True Black Magic Programming

I apologize for not posting last night as I was partaking in frothy beverage and producing a handful of pixelated corpses. As I may be out yet again this evening, I will most likely only be producing a single post for the weekend. Enjoy it, Savor it, feel the delicious tingle on your gums. My bad, trailed off thinking of the whiskey.

Yesterday started early:
I had a dream last night about a programming language. It was so strictly procedural that it barely even had primitive types. Access to any data was like trying to grab someone out of a rapidly moving whirlpool. You never pass variables, just throw them into the whirlpool and hopefully the function you want is fast/strong enough to pull them out.

Running hello world could take hours and the letters wouldn't even come out in the right order. There are no strings, just characters, and those characters could come out of that whirlpool in any order.

And some of the days quips:
"You make baby Garth cry"

"When sleeping with French women, be sure to use a try-catch block"

"PCTP: Personal Communication Transfer Protocol"

Not a crossover, but still made some people laugh:"Damnit woman, I said potatoes not fish sticks"

"I think so much about what people say, it consumes the threadpool and causes deadlock"

Our instructor for the day:"Have you been to therapy?"

Instructor:"Do you think in Audio, Visuals, or in Actions?"..."I think in Code"

"I am a Singleton. There is, and can only ever be, one of me, but I'm not thread safe."

"With Garth as my witness"

"Your mama don't spring and your daddy don't hibernate"

"Lucky is still in therapy, but the voices are less frequent now"...seriously how did a paranoid schizophrenic become a children's icon. (They're all after my lucky charms!)


And one of the days quips tended towards self awareness instead of code or jokes of any sort:
Deep down, everything we do, we do for ourselves. Even helping others, we do because it feels good.

I am sorry to have ended on that note today. For now, I must rest. Good night Internet.

Are you there Garth? It's me, Big Mur.

The day started early, but we were all busy hacking web apps together so I didn't find much time to let my mind wander. Enjoy today's quips:

That's not a script. THIS is a script. - thanks Phil

Struts, erp. Whaat is it good for? we-eb app construction. SAY IT AGAIN NOW -Thank Justin for that

Phil: It's a strut, sticking out of a spring, on a rail! OH MY!

thank you phil: happy birthday Internet Explorer (8 years old today)

So did you use the sword and shield or the bastard sword to quell the Dojo dragon?

Is it bad that I view the 5 second rule like a video game? After 3 seconds the food starts blinking then it just disappears

Response to someone sneezing: "Garth bless you"

Also, due to my indirect nature, most of my compliments are backhanded, and it was suggested that I post a few:

"Most female engineers are ugly"

"You're not retarded"

"You've exceeded the expectations of an IT major"

I may start saving more of those comments as some of them are pure gold and sound far more like an insult than the ones above.

For now, I have some work that needs attending to. Good night Internet

Ok here's a late night post for my buddy, Ducky, with some highlighted quotes about/from/involving him. (backstories on request)

"I think I just dented my towel"

"YOU'RE overrated"

"blublabluablublaublaublublh ICE TEA"

"BOOM HEADSHOT!"

"dump 'em out!"

"Who said take the cricket?"

and as an added bonus, a recent find:
Cologne


Enjoy, and fairwell. Good night Internet

Welcome!

The second coming of the Lord, Garth is nigh. REPENT of your uncommented code and your overuse of Singletons.

As you may have already figured out, I make a number of obscure tech references and strange crossovers. This blog acts as a dump for those crossover and interesting little tidbits that I find throughout the interwebs. On that note, some bands/internet superheroes for the smart masses to check out:

PowerGlove - Tetris
Brental Floss - Megaman 3 Title
The Megas - Carved from Mighty Oak

And a few crossovers to start things off:
When you're stuck on a site, locked in IE, JScript...When you're stuck with no fun, no fun in the sun, JScript
-you can thank Ping for getting "Cocaine" stuck in my head for that one

"As they say, Love is a battlefield; a strange game. The only winning move is not to play."

"That's why I had so much trouble with Spring last week. The Necronomicon states that Spring requires the sacrifice of a pure soul"

Dave: "I think I broke Java"
error console: "Class not found: java.lang.Object"
Me and Phil: Holy God man! What did you do?!

And from our beloved emacs:
first line in woman.el:
(require 'man)

Enjoy! I will see you all tomorrow. Good night Internet.