Well, aren't you made of clever?

private string NaCL() //Get (de|en)cryption salt

Getting a Life

Not much today. Hope you enjoy it:

Do you often find yourself thinking about the next big programming language? Having nightmares about NullPointerExceptions? or understand why some people use kek and lol interchangably?
If so, you should try Getting a Life(tm). Getting a Life(tm) isn't right for everyone. If you are pregnant, nursing, may become pregnant, or are fat male that passersby often confuse for a heavyset woman, Getting a Life(tm) may not be right for you.

Please consult your physician before you try Getting a Life(tm) as side effects may include: not hating yourself, enjoying the company of others, and being called a noob when you finally return to your favorite online game.

Time to work on getting some people to help promote project Samblitz! Good night Internet.

Dump 'Em Out (Studios)

So I haven't been posting lately, and this is why: Dump 'Em Out Studios is now official. We're putting together a team and writing an XBox360 game. I'll post a link to the facebook fan page where we'll be putting updates later. Anyway, there were some good ones today:

Smokol: which is worse, the hot girl speaking russian so people couldn't eavesdrop on her conversation or that i was able to hear and understand enough to tell she was arguing with her mother about her boyfriend?
Warblitz: tsk tsk tsk
Warblitz: "Minya zaboot Smokol"

Phil: So as it turns out, trying to simplify things for your Mac owning graphic designer userbase...does not help people who actually read documentation.

Phil: The baby Jesus is simultaneously laughing, crying, and crapping his Huggies in fear.

Phil: funcIDCombo.selectedIndex = i as Number;
Phil: funcIDCombo.selectedIndex == 0
Phil: I have redefined 3!
Smokol: wait
Smokol: that returned true?
Smokol: what type is i?
Phil: String
Smokol: and "3" as Number == 0?
Smokol: weird
Smokol: unless for some Garth-aweful reason it does it like this (funcIDCombo.selectedIndex = i) as Number

Phil: My faith is officially lost.
Smokol: in?
Phil: Flash
Smokol: you had some to begin with?
Phil: I had to think that maybe it wouldn't completely fail at everything.
Phil: It is complaining about a "possibly undefined method"
Phil: Being called on an object of type ArrayCollection. Examining the inheritance tree you can see that ArrayCollection inherits from ListCollectionView, which inherits from Proxy, which inherits from Object.
Smokol: didn't we go through this last week?
Smokol: am i stuck in a movie?
Phil: The addAll() method is defined in ListCollectionView
Phil: So is the addItem() method.
Phil: I can call addItem(), but not addAll()
Smokol: wow
Phil: It was similar to last week's problem, but a whole new sort of fail.
Smokol: ahh
Phil: HOWEVER! It's even better. if I do (target as Object).addAll(), it works. 'as' is ActionScript's cast mechanism. An expression (target as Object) returns either target as an Object or null.


-Reasons to not argue with an iPhag (i know it's a bit long but I was too lazy to weed out the gems)
iPhag: then i got an ipad
iPhag: then i got a life
Smokol: wait
Smokol: what?
iPhag: so many things have been happening
Smokol: you did not get a maxIpad
iPhag: oh i did
Smokol: w
Smokol: t
Smokol: f
iPhag: my flow's the heaviest
Smokol: i really hope you're kidding
iPhag: okay keep hoping
Smokol: my soul has been crushed
Smokol: you tell koblentz yet?
Smokol: he'll be pretty excited to play with it
iPhag: with every fanboy there is an anti fanboy
Smokol: aye, i am the ultimate fanboy. i hate almost everything
Smokol: and even the things i llike i don't consider myself a fan
iPhag: i could care less about apple
Smokol: pfft
Smokol: lies
Smokol: you went and got a giant apple branded paperweight
iPhag: i refuse to pay over 1000 for any apple product
iPhag: and would never buy a desktop or mac book
iPhag: lol @ paperweight
iPhag: more like internetz in my hands
Smokol: i'd totally buy a macbook if i had money to burn
iPhag: your just mad im going to be browsing the interwebs in style on the toilet
Smokol: so why not just get a ipod touch?
Smokol: the ipad is just a big iTouch
iPhag: because I own an ipod touch
iPhag: and doing anything more than listening to music on it is a pain
Smokol: i browse the web in style on the toilet. 24" touch screen wall mounted
Smokol: what now
iPhag: lol
iPhag: i'd like to see that
iPhag: pictures please
Smokol: uhhh
Smokol: no
Smokol: freak
iPhag: although i wouldn't be surprised
iPhag: if you something a little more modest
iPhag: like a 17 inch montior
Smokol: pfft
Smokol: that's for the cheap and the weak
Smokol: you forget, i'm single with no friends and no life
iPhag: ipad is pretty cool, i was a little worried at first
iPhag: have you gotten a chance to play with one?
Smokol: i think ipad is a pretty cool guy
Smokol: eh only runs 1 app and doesn't afraid of anything
iPhag: reserve judgement till you do
iPhag: itz teh futurez
Smokol: i don't need to play with it. the specs just shout waste of money
Smokol: no usb
Smokol: no concurrent apps
Smokol: need i say more?
iPhag: OMGZ NO STYLUS
iPhag: how R MY FAT OIL FINGERZ GONAN BROWSE
Smokol: really? it doesn't ship with a stylus?
iPhag: NOZ VOICE REGOZNITIONZ
Smokol: well that's annoying but not terrible
Smokol: meh, voice recognition would be impressive
iPhag: HOW ELSE R I GONAN RITE EPIC NOVELZ

Ahh good times. Anyway, it's time for me to depart and get some work done on this game. Track us down at Game Underground on June 27. Good night Internet.

You can't win

Ok so not much today, but what little there is I believe to be pretty good. Enjoy:

Phil: My project manager: "Why did we choose to use Hibernate? ... ... ... Fuck."
-just wow

Me: i offer you proof you can't win in life

Person subject = BabyFactory.newChild();
while(subject.isAlive())
try{
switch(subject.maturity){
case KID:
subject.school.start;
while(!subject.school.isDone())
subject.wait();
subject.work().start;
break;
case ADOLESCENT:
subject.highSchool.start();
while(!subject.highSchool.isDone())
subject.wait();
break;
case YOUNG_ADULT:
subject.college.start();
while(!subject.college.isDone())
subject.wait();
break;
case ADULT:
while(!subject.work.isDone())
subject.wait();
break;
case OLD:
subject.retire.start();
break;
default:
subject.die();
break;
}
subject.mature();

}catch(YourMotherNeverLovedYouException e){
logger.error("give up");
}catch(YoureAConstantDisappointmentToYourMotherAndIException e){
logger.error("why won't you give up?");
}catch(CripplingDepressionException e){
logger.severe("hang yourself");
}catch(SoulCrushingDefeatException e){
logger.fatal("you lose");
}catch(WinningLotteryException e){
subject.addHabit(Habits.COKE);
}
}

Phil: Inspirational. You catch all those exceptions then continue on with life.

Phil: Perfect
Phil: Plus now you've left room for not acting one's age if maturity gets misset.


All that being said, /wrists

Time for my new favorite drinking game: "Clean the apartment"...yes it's exactly as fun as it sounds. Good night Internet.

I have failed you Internet

Sorry I haven't been posting lately. Things have gotten a little busy for me. I welcome insanity from any of my peers to help keep this blog alive. For now, I give you today's tibits:

Upon waking up an hour early this morning, rather than roll over and go back to sleep. i awoke, and giggled like a schoolgirl as i did the long overdue linux partition on my desktop

Walt: question for you, if you can spear a second
Me: sure i can spear a second...if you can find a physical embodiment of one

Me: ok blackberry...NO
Me: BAD
Me: you know how it will autocorrect based on fatfingers?...it just changed "fid" to "god"
Phil: BAD DOGGY NO BISCUIT!

Davey: I got an org.omg.CORBA.COMM_FAILURE exception
-well done sir

I will try to be more active in posting the insanity generated by software developers. Good night Internet.

Re: Greet your corporate overlords.

This excerpt was from a conversation the day I was complaining heavily about Java. But really, is scanf() too much to ask for? You wrote printf() already!

Anyway:

Smokol: people have a tendency to lose flash drives/cds
so it makes some sense to me
but they should make it easier to get encrypted ones
Me: The making-things-easier committee meeting has been canceled due to scheduling conflicts. A board approved scheduling task force will be assembled and immediately put on developing an implementing a set of policies and a procedure for better scheduling the meetings of the making-things-easier committee. The task force is expected to present its paper to the executive board following approval by the making-things-easier committee.

Faith has been restored

We have waited for word from our Lord Garth for sometime and he has returned. Resurfaced and has graced us with his wisdom. Stand faithful with me brethren and expect some great things from Him. Also, I plan a special treat for St. Patrick's Day. I plan on producing some very interesting code for you and perhaps it will actually do something. Sorry there isn't much, but enjoy:

"Shut Up and Code" the new hit single from Ryanna Milk

Nicolai: i am not disappoint
-thanks bud

Tell me exactly what I am supposed to do
Now that I have allowed garbage collection
...
If you even try to load that java bean
I think I might have to kill -9

it's 2:15 on Monday. do you know where your productivity is?

For now, I must acquire nutrition in some form and take part in the glory of Monday night primetime. In the meantime we pray for the return of Garth and hope the new group will honor His word. Good night Internet.